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It is with a sorta-heavy heart that I report:  I have broken my streak at 750words.com.  I had 45 days under my belt – 45 days! – almost half way to the coveted Phoenix badge (awarded to those who write 100 days in a row).

If you’re not familiar with 750words, I encourage you to check it out.  It’s a very simple, basic idea.  It gives you an online space to start and stick to a writing habit.  You write 750 words a day, you win cute little meaningless animal badges for writing so many days in row, or writing without distraction (ie. a 3-minute break), or completing a one-month challenge.

Even though I knew the cute little badges amounted to nothing really, I was actually mysteriously motivated by them.  Before I broke my streak, I had accumulated 9 badges – 9! Including things like the Speedy Cheetah and the Undistractable Hamster.  I was on a roll, man.

But the most mysterious thing of all? … I’m actually not that disappointed about breaking the streak.  No, really.  Maybe if I had been actively trying to write my post and wasn’t able to because of the cable went out, I might be upset.  In reality, I just plum forgot.  I had a wonderful day yesterday – got off work early, lunched at our favorite coffee shop, did some errands, made cookies, watched the X-Files pilot (which I had never seen and, heck, it was on Netflix Streaming), read a bunch out of a really great book I’m into — all around, a superbly relaxing day.  Writing?  Didn’t even occur to me.

So now I’m looking at this mishap as an opportunity – a chance to take a week off from writing, and focus more on all the reading I’ve piled up for myself, which will be mentioned in a separate post.

And I have to give 750words credit for doing the unexpected — it got me writing again on a regular basis.  Something I haven’t had with that much consistency in *years*.  In grad school, writing had become a laborious, painful punishment.  Considering I used to keep a journal, used to write poetry, used to *love* writing (before grad school) this was a pretty major change in attitude for me.  The silly animal badges and the colorful graphs showing progress in 750words helped me love writing again, even if it was just a simple journal entry.  So even if I won’t get that Phoenix badge as soon as I hoped, I am now looking forward to writing an article in the near future and I’m even considering getting on the NaNoWriMo bandwagon.

That can all start in a week.  For now, I will pause this newfound love of writing to revisit my love of reading.  Another beauty of 750words — I can always start again.

book cover

book cover

Three books have been spinning in my head for a little while now — especially since last Friday, when I bought a copy of Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being in an airport bookshop on my way home.  I thought I had read it a few years ago, but it was not the same book. I was confusing it with Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, which – strangely enough – takes its title from a line in the Milan Kundera book I bought.

But at the same time, I kept mixing these titles around in my mind with A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers, which – as far as I can tell from the jacket summary – has nothing in common whatsoever with the Foer or Kunera books.

Why?

That is what I aim to find out.  So I’ve been reading Kundera all week, almost done.  Perhaps I was confusing this book with the one by Dave Eggers because this book by Kundera is, in fact, heartbreaking and has many moments of genius.   The way he plays with language, the reality he gives his characters. It’s Prague in the 1960s but it might as well be today, you and me.

[ spoiler alert! ]

Vicky Christina Barcelona poster

Vicky Christina Barcelona poster

But for the purposes of this blog post, let’s pretend the story can be summed up thus:

Love triangle
wife is a photographer
mistress is a painter
mistress coaches wife on her art

Compare that to the very simple summary of another story this week, from Woody Allen’s newest movie (go see it) Vicky Christina Barcelona:

Love triangle
ex-wife is a painter
mistress is a photographer
ex-wife coaches mistress on her art

A lot of reviews for the Woody Allen movie said it was about love and sex.  I didn’t see that.  And I don’t see it in Kundera’s novel either.  I see in both Allen’s film and Kundera’s novel a struggle for expression.  Personal expression. Creative expression.  What have you.  The characters are all struggling to figure out how to SHOW something, anything to other people and be understood.  Love conveniently figures into the stories because it is one of the most misunderstood expressions humans deal with on a regular basis.  But to confine the tension of these stories to love is to be too simplistic.  In Kundera’s case, especially, there are themes of stifled expression explored on numerous fronts: sexual, sensual, political, familial, artistic and patriotic.

Am I projecting?  Well, sure, I’m the reader.  That’s what I get to do.  It’s my role as the reader to project myself onto the characters and into the story.  None of us know how to read any other way.

Expression, as I was saying, is the crux.   At one point in Vicky Christina Barcelona, Scarlett Johannson’s character blurts out that she has no talent.  That she has ideas, she has feelings she wants to express, but she can’t because she has no talent. The film’s tagline:  “Life is the ultimate work of art.”  The Unbearable Lightness of Being has so many examples, I don’t know where to start, but I’ll give you one of my favorites:  Tereza, the wife in the fore-mentioned love triangle, has a habit from childhood of staring at herself in the mirror, willing her soul to show itself in her face, searching for some sign of the soul in the body.  The only time she is truly happy is when she takes photos of the Russian tanks invading Prague.

Both stories end without conclusion.  No one ever really gets what they want because they never actually know what they want.  In order to express something sufficiently, wouldn’t you have to already know what you want to express?  Kundera’s answer:

“We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.”

and

“Einmal ist keinmal … what happens but once might as well not have happened at all.”

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