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Originally uploaded by Librarienne.
Last night we said good-bye to Chris by the light of a burning box of matches. Many sad good-byes this week… but everyone happy for us, too. I want pictures of every last moment we have with each friend, to remember. I’m not fast enough for that, but these won’t be the last times we see them.
Maybe you've heard…
People all said sit down
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.
And the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat,
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.– from Guys and Dolls by Frank Loesser
…but have you also heard…
I used to be god-fearing
now I'm so frightened
'cause the devil will drag you under
by the sharp tailfin
of your checquered cab (?)
Now I can't sit down,
I'm going overboard
in this heathen town.– from Heathen Town by Elvis Costello
I have one more hour at work… so much more I wanted to get done, so many more strings to tie up, but when the time runs out, well, that's it. That ever-present anxious feeling is getting stronger. It's very much like the feeling I would get when I would stay up all night to finish a paper due at 8am the next morning. Except our departure is due at 5am tomorrow morning and this is quite a bit more FINAL than a paper. This is it. The end. Finis. So long. I feel like I'm standing to make the boat rock on purpose. As though that's the only way to keep the darn thing moving – by rocking. And the steering is just up to the wind. When you're standing on a rocking boat, you sort of steer and hang on for dear life at the same time.
Originally uploaded by Librarienne.
The moving truck is gone, most of our earthly possessions are now miles away and that’s the the good-feeling part. The rest of our time in Corvallis will be spent cleaning and having good-bye dinners. But the impending Unknown we call Urbana is hanging over us like a big grey cloud. We have nothing but surprises ahead of us, may they all be pleasant…
Over the past couple weeks, two people I know have pushed themselves to extremes, made sacrifices, worked to the bone, and just all 'round been incredible SuperPeople.
Chris, a dear friend of ours, has given up at least two weekends plus multiple weeknights to help us get rid of and/or pack up all our crap. (Why do we have so much crap?!) He's given up hours and hours that could have been spent on working, eating, sleeping, socializing, traveling just to help us out. He's been a godsend (or, as his name suggests, "a bringer of Christ").
Lori, love of my life, has been going non-stop to get things sorted, wrapped up, packed up, figured out, put together, and on schedule. We're both bruised, stiff, sore, fatigued, stressed, and yet she's still beautiful and charming. After several days of hauling junk down three flights of stairs and climbing back up the stairs, we're trying to get our good night's rest in sleeping bags on our very hard floor. What she deserves is a good massage, a hot bath, and a full night on a comfy plush bed.
I have no idea how to give back to these two heroes. One of those wish-I-had-a-lot-more-money moments. I would lavish all sorts of thank-you presents on both of them. But I don't have lots-of-money so what are my other options? We're leaving in a week!
When I brainstorm, I come up with…
– maybe we could have a big grand dinner for Chris and Sarah, but, oh yeah, we don't have a single pot or pan in the house or any other cooking utensil for that matter
– maybe we could get him some really nice present, but, oh yeah, that whole money issue
– maybe I could get Lori a full treatment at the spa, but… see above
– at the very least, I could find us something more comfortable to sleep on for this last week, like borrow an air mattress
– I could look into finding moving help for when we get to Illinois
– we could keep brainstorming and get Chris something fantastic for Christmas
Ideas? Please?
Lori and I have been so busy these past few weeks with preparing to move that I don’t think we’re giving ourselves enough time to mentally psych up for the transition.
Big dreamy ideas that I’ve been entertaining:
- since I’ll have to find a whole new routine in Illinois, I can finally sculpt for myself the routine I really want, complete with daily exercise, reading, and writing
- once we get settled, I’ll try going completely vegan
- I’ll finally be far, far away from the really annoying aspects of Corvallis
… but I have to remind myself that:
- just because our location is changing, doesn’t mean our old habits will change
- we won’t be able to completely unpack for our first two months because we’ll just be in a sublet
- Illinois will have unique annoying aspects of its own (uh, Unofficial?)
I’m thinking back on the stages of culture shock that I had to read about before going over to Germany. Since we’ll be changing apartments within just two months of arrival, I think our culture shock stages will either repeat or just get plain screwy. But I hope that as two educated, intelligent women, we’ll be able to recognize our little withdrawal and adjustment phases and find a healthy balance quickly. We’ve already talked about the importance of establishing a sort of daily outline as soon as we get there, and I think that will help a lot.
I’m most worried about our housing, really. That could make or break our first impressions of our new city. I’ve never sublet before so I’m not even sure what to expect from this experience. I hope it’s simple, straightforward, open/close. I hope the place is nice, considering we’ve only seen photos. I hope we find a place for August that will actually let us move in sometime in late July. The sooner we can unpack and spread out, the better. I hope Lori is really, really happy there. I don’t want her to be disappointed by the move.
And friends. We will definitely miss our friends. How do you have a proper housewarming without them? Chris, Sarah, Jessee, Susan, Astrid, Jane, Lisa, Maggie, may we all find ourselves sipping a ‘cello one day in our future kitchen in Illinois.
The Friday poetry for this week:
"87"
by e. e. cummings, 100 Selected Poems
o by the by
has anybody seen
little you-I
who stood on a green
hill and threw
his wish at blue
with a swoop and a dart
out flew his wish
(it dived like a fish
but it climbed like a dream)
throbbing like a heart
singing like a flame
blue took it my
far beyond far
and high beyond high
bluer took it your
but bluest took it our
away beyond where
what a wonderful thing
is the end of a string
(murmurs little you-I
as the hill becomes nil)
and will somebody tell
me why people let go
Okay, so I'm sharing an inside joke with you. In order to get the inside joke, you should know that the library where I work has a permanent art collection throughout the building and each picture has its own little label beside it with artist and title info. One day – over two years ago, when my Lori was working here, too – she noticed this "addition" to the library's art collection, hanging neatly on a blank wall on the 1st floor complete with its own little label:
Mind you, nothing had been stolen. That wall had simply never been assigned any art. So a couple students decided to honor the poor lonely wall with their own artwork – a glued together He-man puzzle. The puzzle and label have been proudly displayed at my desk ever since. I've even met the creators and they were very happy that someone kept it. The best part is, they don't mind that I'm taking it to Illinois with me. To me, it represents the future of libraries – user customization, random information, and all the pieces coming together to form a familiar picture.
So yesterday I called my mom to wish her a happy Mother’s Day. I called bright and early before our garage sale because she’s on Georgia time and my bright-and-early is her brunch time. Once again, my dad did not come to the phone. My mom did not turn on the speakerphone. No communication with my father for over a month now.
So my question to you, reader, is should I call my dad on Father’s Day? Let’s just say June 18 rolls around with the current communication levels still in place. Do I force the issue? Do I tell my mom to put him on the phone whether he likes it or not?
See, it’s not even about Father’s Day for me. Up until a couple years ago, I never even noticed when Mother’s & Father’s Days went by. I think I’m asking the question above because in my impatient eyes my dad is being a baby about all this and Father’s Day would be an excuse to make him talk about it. Or at least talk to me. But is that rushing things? But if I don’t force it, will we go on like this forever?
Garage Sale Day 2 – the auctioneere
Originally uploaded by Librarienne.
If I were more into this, I'm sure we'd be millionaires by now.
Garage Sale day 2
Originally uploaded by Librarienne.
A new marketing technique? Buy the chair, get the dog free?
Originally uploaded by Librarienne.
Chris the Wizard casts spells over grilled sausages & vegies that makes people buy our stuff. And it works!
Garage Sale pt. 4
Originally uploaded by Librarienne.
Lori considers a nap on the empty bed frame.
